So sitting back and thinking about my life and all in it, I ponder on my life at this moment…. It’s fricken awesome, I work long hours but I have the best job in the world. I have the best and most honest friendships I’ve ever had. I’ve always been an over thinker my whole life, never thought when I was younger to step back and just make things for myself a little simpler mentally. Whats wrong with keeping things simple? Doesn’t that make everything a little less complicated? In theory this sounds easy, ‘yep, right I’m going to stop over thinking everything and just chill today’ – then life and everyone’s else problems and influences ram themselves through your door of serenity and it all goes out the window.
Something I never believed till I was older was, that women are definitely from Venus and men sure are from Mars. We compute things differently and react a heck of a lot more differently, Take this scene from harry potter:
I do love it because it is how a lot of people think.
For example:
Mark: A spade is a spade
Me: What type of spade was that, length, width? How am I going to use it? Does it comes with instructions?……
This sounds full on doesn’t it? Maybe a teensy bit stressful for anyone involved?
Humans have the capacity to turn mole hills into mountains…….
Now think about this, If you are in a constant state of stress, anger, depression, anxiety, exhaustion, how do you think this affects others around you, then which in turn affects you?
I was a child care worker for four and half years and I learnt real quick that those little kids picked up on what I was feeling without me saying or doing anything.
If I was stressed they were nuts in their behavior. If I was down I usually got a lot of hugs that day. It didn’t matter how much I tried to cover up how I felt they always knew, no amount of acting, games or smiling worked.
Guess What? Your friends and family can see these things too.
Now your asking well why don’t they do this or that to help me so I am not always feeling this way?!
Because us humans have forgotten how to talk to each other, we get to the point of breaking and the yelling and crying and anger starts. That’s when the other person shuts down because they don’t know how to deal with you and the listening stops, they go into protection mode for themselves because they feel like they are being attacked when all you wanted was to be listened to and have some help.
Now I’m not just putting this on one person. It needs to be an all in or your not in at all kinda thing.
We all come into relationships and friendships with our own quirks and broken things inside of us. We all have things that have hurt us in varying degrees, some may be more horrific than others, but its not about who has had it worse.
We all need to sit down and learn to listen and also allow the other person to talk without shooting them down.
How else do you truly get to know someone? How else do you ever really truly understand how to help someone else? How else do you keep evolving with them if you don’t listen and talk about the real stuff often?
We are all entitled to our own opinions, but it isn’t your place to judge that person, its your place to be their friend. There needs to be fifty fifty in every relationship or friendship.
Men and women do it a lot with their mates, in varying activities but do they do it enough with their own relationships?
When was the last time you sat and had coffee with your other half and talked about how you were feeling and asked them what was going on inside their heads?
Oh wait .. did you have coffee over breakfast on your way to work rushing around getting ready, or trying to get the kids ready for school? Nope that doesn’t count…..
People need to relax and remove themselves from adulting to be able to talk about themselves in a real sense.
Here is a challenge: Find one time this week you and someone you feel you can be real with can just go out and have a coffee, kid free, phone free, Facebook free, Instagram free, life free.
Organize a play date and offer to watch a friends kids another time next weekend in return. Ask your mates, your family to watch the kids for 2 hours and tell them you need a little TLC for yourself.
You don’t understand how important this is for your own well being, your relationships and your kids.
Your significant other or best mate need to see that hanging out at home with a million other people or family around is not giving you guys a break from the world.
Your kids need to see that its healthy for mum and dad to go hang out without them for even just a short time, because its teaching them something very important.
How to care for someone else,
How to listen,
How to learn that it’s not weak to speak about whats going on inside their head.
Take care of yourselves beautiful people.
Amanda x
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